


crashing

by GhostsandGhouls



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Language, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 10:04:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20329348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostsandGhouls/pseuds/GhostsandGhouls
Summary: Iwaizumi stands from his position, stretching out his limbs, unaware of how Oikawa is almost drooling.





	crashing

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna say a BIG thank you to my proof-reader Yana! She really helped me out with smoothing this over.
> 
> I've been working on it for quite a while, it's probably my biggest projects to date and I'm so proud of how it turned out ;~;  
I hope you all enjoy!!
> 
> sry in advance for the angst c:

Oikawa stares at Iwaizumi. He'd just finished putting together their small couch, Oikawa can feel his whole body heating up at the thought of sitting there, a little too close to Iwaizumi. He's no longer sure if this is a good idea, despite how much planning they'd put into moving in together. Oikawa can't stop staring, Iwaizumi looks far too good in just a tank top and it makes him feel a little breathless; maybe he should have thought this over a little more. Iwaizumi rubs a forearm over his head and turns to Oikawa, "Oi, Shittykawa! Are you planning on helping?"

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa waves a hand, pouting, "You're doing great, it's almost done and I'm not good with that, you should know."

"Yeah," Iwaizumi scoffs. He turns back to the sofa and Oikawa dreamily watches the muscles of his shoulders moving. Iwaizumi stands from his position, stretching out his limbs further, unaware of how Oikawa is almost drooling. Iwaizumi grabs the cushions and slides them into place with a soft sigh, "There," Oikawa snaps back, he hops down from the counter and takes a good look at the sofa, "What?" Iwaizumi asks like he's reading Oikawa's mind.

"Good job, Iwa-chan! Of course, I need to make it look better, get some pillows and maybe a throw--Ack!" Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa under his arm, into a head-lock position where he buries his hand into Oikawa's hair, rubbing just enough to be an annoyance, "Iwa-chan! You're so mean! I said it's nice."

"You're so picky."

"Don't you want it to be cute?"

"Whatever." Iwaizumi released Oikawa and waved him off as he headed to his room; he still had some unpacking to do anyway, and he knew if he spent another moment there, he might do something stupid. He didn't know how Oikawa hadn't noticed the quicker pace of his heart, he was sure it had been about to jump out of his chest. He knew Oikawa well enough to know he wasn't dense and Iwaizumi had tried to make his feelings obvious without ever speaking them aloud, but Oikawa hadn't noticed...They were still friends. Iwaizumi sighs softly, sliding a pile of jeans into the dresser; maybe this truly was a bad idea, he couldn't think of how this would help his situation in the slightest. But the moment they'd found out that they would be attending different universities, Oikawa had been insistent on them living together. So Iwaizumi had agreed, almost far too easily, like he'd wanted it all along. They're older now, Iwaizumi had always promised himself that he would confess while they were still at high school, but that hadn't happened, he knew that he couldn't keep living like this.

He was never one for bottling up his emotions, his mother had always taught him otherwise, told him it was bad to keep everything stored away. This was different, he kept telling himself that. Because Oikawa was his friend and he didn't want to lose that or put it at risk. Iwaizumi always treasured what they had, it had been one solid consistent throughout his life, Oikawa’s presence seemed forever unwavering. If he destroyed that by revealing how he felt, he wouldn’t know how to recover, or even find that same feeling of certainty ever again, “Iwa-chaaan! What’s taking so long?” Iwaizumi snapped out of his thoughts, he’d been mindlessly putting clothes away and only had one pair of socks left sitting at the bottom of his suitcase; he picked them up and threw them into the drawer with a sigh.

He leaves his room and is met instantly by Oikawa, “What? Are you trying to spy on me?”

“You were taking your time Iwa-chan! I’m hungry, could we go for ramen or something?”

Iwaizumi huffs, walking past Oikawa to their small kitchen, he looks through the fridge first and then the cupboards, finding no interest in actually cooking something, he turns to Oikawa, “Fine! But we’re not doing this all the time.”

“Okay!” Oikawa grinned, pulling Iwaizumi by his arm and out the door, barely waiting for him to lock it behind them. They find a ramen shop between two taller buildings and quickly get a seat. The owners (Iwaizumi thinks), greet them with a warm welcome and take their orders; he sits for a moment, trying not to stare at Oikawa, who’s changed since they began unpacking. His glasses are framing his face now and Iwaizumi forgot how much he thinks they suit Oikawa.

Iwaizumi can still clearly remember when Oikawa first got them, how he’d almost been crying that he _wouldn’t be cute enough anymore_. Iwaizumi had thought it was dumb, even back then, because Oikawa had taken his breath away and he barely spluttered out a reply that he hadn’t changed, that he looked as dumb as he always did. Oikawa cheered up at the words, hugging Iwaizumi before running into the backyard and holding up a volleyball; they practiced for longer that day, with Oikawa needing to push his glasses back onto his face after every serve, but he’d been reluctant to take them off.

“Iwa-chan, what’s wrong?”

Iwaizumi jerks up in his seat, hiding his embarrassment behind a short cough, “Nothing.” Oikawa’s brows furrow, he touches his face and Iwaizumi has to clench his fist, resisting an urge to reach out, “I wasn’t looking at you. I just spaced out for a moment.”

“Oh?” Iwaizumi isn’t sure Oikawa’s convinced, but he’s smiling like everything is normal and Iwaizumi relaxes a little, “I guess that can even happen to you, huh Iwa-chan?”

“I’m not as brainless as you about it though.”

“Hey! Mean,” Oikawa pouts, only making it harder for Iwaizumi to keep his hands at his sides. Their bowls are slid in front of them though, distracting Oikawa from their conversation. Iwaizumi almost sighs with relief, he says his thanks, as does Oikawa and they begin to eat. A pleasant silence falls between them for a moment, until the waitress begins talking to Oikawa. It’s something dumb, but Iwaizumi can’t find the strength to focus on what they’re saying; his jaw is tight with jealousy, an itching settles in his chest. He makes it through his bowl and promptly pays so he can leave, moments later, he hears the rush of feet behind him and turns to meet Oikawa, who’s pouting again, “Don’t leave me like that!”

“Sorry, I thought you’d be happy. The waitress was pretty cute.”

Oikawa holds his breath, stopping himself from huffing in response to Iwaizumi’s words, “Yeah! I guess she was,” His words are forced, he hopes Iwaizumi doesn’t notice. To help avoid it, he rushes ahead a little, taking the lead as they walk back to the apartment, “I wasn’t interested in what she was talking about,” He shrugs, for once, he’s being honest. Oikawa had been a little perplexed by a stranger talking to him before, at least when it was the girls at school, he knew who they were, “It was boring. I enjoyed the ramen though! What did you think?”

“Yeah, it was pretty nice,” Iwaizumi’s brows are drawn in, curious about Oikawa’s antics, he never usually turned down a girl so easily. Maybe, _just maybe_, he’d grown up a little since graduating; the rest of the walk is filled with silence and Oikawa lets them into the apartment with a loud yawn, “We should get some rest. We’ll both have an early start tomorrow for orientation.”

“Hm,” Oikawa nods, “You’re right. Goodnight, Iwa-chan.”

“Night.” Oikawa disappears into his room with a wave and Iwaizumi heads into his own too; he drops down onto the bed, his mind still wide-awake. He can’t shake the image of Oikawa, the way his fake smile had come so easily with the waitress; he hates it and he wishes that Oikawa would be more honest. But if he was...It pained Iwaizumi to think about that because Oikawa’s honest smile had been reserved for him, always and only him, if someone else saw that, it might mean that Oikawa cares. Iwaizumi buries his head into his pillow, trying to ignore the drilling in his brain that keeps telling him that he only wants Oikawa’s care and attention, no-one else is allowed it.

* * *

As Iwaizumi expected, his first day at university is filled with orientation around campus, an introduction to his tutors and various flyers about clubs and societies. He only cares about one, and once he’s free from his course introduction, he searches out the volleyball team; it’s strange walking into the gymnasium and not being met by Oikawa, instead, the coach greets him with a friendly smile, “Hello there, I’m Coach Jinzyuu.”

“Hi, I’m Iwaizumi Hajime.”

“Come on in!” He ushers Iwaizumi into the room, where he’s met by some familiar faces and some he doesn’t recognized; they all make introductions, and he feels a little safer with the knowledge of having Sugawara there. He’d noticed how good of a setter he was, even while Kageyama took most of the spotlight; they take a seat together and Iwaizumi sends him a smile, which is warmly received and returned. Iwaizumi had also easily recognized Kuroo, from Nekoma, though the name had evaded him and he was thankful that the coach had made sure everyone introduced themselves. Another familiar face is the middle blocker from Datekō, Kamasaki, and finally, from Shiratorizawa, Ōhira; the rest of the team are new to Iwaizumi. The libero, Nagai, who is a second-year student at the university. There’s another spiker (with a good serve, the coach had insisted), Hanada, also a second year. One third-year student, the pinch server, Juuro. The other few are freshmen’s too, Okamoto, Kanou, and Furui. With introductions over, the coach runs them through some drills and a few practice shots; at the end of it, Jinzyuu sets up an official date for their first real practice (Wednesday evening) and bids them all a goodnight.

Iwaizumi walks back to the station with Sugawara, talking about the day. It falls silent for a moment, then Sugawara decides to bring up one thing that’s been bothering him, “Where’s Oikawa?”

“Oh. He’s at a different university.”

“That must be tough, I miss having Daichi around. I imagine you must miss Oikawa too,” Iwaizumi nods, thinking there’s no reason to be dishonest about his feelings, especially when Sugawara had mentioned missing Daichi. Though Iwaizumi wasn’t quite sure who that was, he was never good with names. The only thing he could assume was Karasuno’s captain, the two had seemed close, “So, you’re not living on campus either. Whereabouts are you?”

“Twenty minutes away. Oikawa and I found an apartment together. He insisted.”

Sugawara chuckles, nodding like he'd expected it, “That sounds like something he would do. I know that I don’t know him well enough but it fits him. I’m glad you two are staying together in some form of way. Daichi and I are house-sharing with Asahi-san and someone new, Yasuda, he found us when we were looking for a place. I wish I could be alone with Daichi more though. You must be happy to spend all that time with Oikawa.”

“He’s a pest.”

“But in the best way, right?” Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t think he really needs to either, Sugawara has already seen through him anyway, “I’m jealous of you! It must be nice to keep your boyfriend all to yourself.”

Iwaizumi’s nodding, before the words process, “Boyfriend?”

“Huh? I assumed that you and Oikawa were together, you both act that way.”

“No,” Iwaizumi wants to sigh; he didn’t think people would ever see him and Oikawa like that, they were only friends. Though, he knew that Oikawa could get overly-friendly and a little touchy, “We’re just friends.” He clarifies that fact aloud, because now that Sugawara mentioned them being together, he can’t stop thinking about it.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“Making that assumption,” Sugawara turns to him, they’re at the station now, “You like him, don’t you?”

Iwaizumi takes a breath and nods, he must have given something away for Sugawara to assume that of his friendship with Oikawa, “I don’t know what to do.”

“I understand. It was hard for me to confess to Daichi, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship or make anything awkward, we were always going to have mutual friends, we would end up seeing each other. Then he confessed to me before I could say anything.”

“I wish it was that simple for me, but Oikawa doesn’t like me. You don’t see the way he is around girls.” Sugawara doesn’t say anything, and their train arrives, he’s still silent throughout the journey; Iwaizumi’s stop comes first, he says goodbye, receiving one in return, and he departs into the cold air. His walk back to the apartment is short and he’s grateful for it, he’s toeing off his shoes when he hears Oikawa’s voice.

“Welcome home, Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi’s brain goes blank for a moment, remembering Sugawara’s words, he grounds himself with a deep breath, slowly hanging up his coat, “Hey,” His response is muttered, but thankfully, Oikawa doesn’t say anything else; Iwaizumi walks inside and drops onto the sofa, Oikawa’s in the kitchen, humming softly, “Are you cooking?”

“Yeah! It makes me feel better,” Iwaizumi raises his head to watch Oikawa, and his heart skips; he truly would make a good boyfriend for anyone, they’d be lucky to have him. Iwaizumi closes his eyes, trying to prevent those thoughts, “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m just tired.”

Oikawa sets two plates onto the small table, smiling brightly, “Here! Eat something, it might help. I haven’t even told you about my day yet, you’ll need some energy,” Oikawa’s determination does make Iwaizumi sit up, he takes a bowl and begins eating. The food is nice--_great_ in fact and it makes Iwaizumi hum softly. Oikawa seems happy, he picks up his bowl and takes a few bites before speaking again, “Ushiwaka’s at my university, and that annoying middle blocker too.”

“At least this time, they’re on your side.”

“I always wanted to beat them though, they’re always suspiciously close too,” Oikawa shakes his head, “I’m getting off-topic! Anyway, Ushiwaka mentioned you and I told him we were at different universities now. You should have heard what he said!”

“And what was that?”

“Well, I stopped listening after he told me that I was better off with him on my team. That was enough though, he doesn’t know you.”

Iwaizumi swallows another bite; he thinks that Oikawa might have something else to add, but he’s back to eating again, “What does that mean?”

“You’re a good ace! I bet your coach already has his sights on you.”

“I don’t know. And since you mentioned Siratorizawa, Ōhira is at my university, he’s joining the volleyball club. Then there’s Sugawara from Karasuno, and Kuroo from Nekoma.”

“I’m transferring. Your team sounds cooler. Karasuno was always annoying doing that double-setter thing, I’d like to try that with Mr. Refreshing.”

“No! Don’t be silly, I don’t think they allow that anyway. Our first practice is on Wednesday.”

“Ours is Tuesday,” Oikawa sighs, placing down his bowl. It’s still pretty full, Iwaizumi notices, “I guess our schedule won't line up,” Iwaizumi shrugs, still eating, “So mean! It would be nice if we could meet at the station and walk home together.”

“I thought you were going to look for a job?”

“I am!”

“Then our schedule might never line up.”

“It would have been nice though,” Oikawa picks his bowl back up and returns to eating; silence fills the room and Iwaizumi flicks the tv on, feeling a little awkward. Oikawa looks happy anyway, they finish up and Iwaizumi is the one to clean up after them, he glances back at Oikawa who looks pretty content watching what’s playing on the tv; he shakes his head and quickly washes up, returning to his spot on the sofa, “So, Iwa-chan, did you meet any cute girls today?”

“No. I talked with a few of the people in my class during orientation, but I wasn’t really paying attention too much, I was more excited about meeting the team.”

“Oh? Not even a cute manager?”

“If there is a manager, they weren’t there today. None of the older members mentioned it either.”

“Maybe they just graduated then? I guess you’ll find someone suitable soon enough though. We have two managers, Nanasuke who is in her last year and this really adorable first year, Enomoto.”

“Lucky you.”

“I really am! There are also a few cute girls in my class too, but with all that aside, I’m looking forward to this year. Even if I have to deal with Ushiwaka and Tendou,” Oikawa chuckles and Iwaizumi finds himself staring, his eyes crinkle at the edges and Iwaizumi finds himself smiling, his heart beating just a touch faster; once Oikawa calms a little, he joins Iwaizumi on the sofa and they settle back. Iwaizumi still feels a little rigid, but Oikawa doesn’t mention it, maybe it isn’t noticeable. He doesn’t find anything particularly interesting about the program playing either, it’s more to Oikawa’s taste, he doesn’t mind it though; it gives off a settling reassurance, that nothing has changed between them. Sugawara’s words don’t mean anything, “Are you still tired Iwa-chan?”

He hadn’t realized that Oikawa had been staring at him, for a moment, it makes him feel breathless; he swallows and speaks, “A little. Why do you ask?”

“You’ve usually complained about this by now,” He hints to the t.v, Iwaizumi doesn’t have the energy to complain though, and it isn’t just about his tiredness, “I guess today was pretty exciting, I’m looking forward to all the things we’ll get to experience. University seems so much bigger than high-school. Makki and Mattsun said the same.”

“Yeah, they’re right too. It feels like today went on for so long. I’m going to turn in for the night,” Iwaizumi pushes himself from the sofa; if he doesn’t, he would sleep right there, close to Oikawa’s arms, “You shouldn’t stay up too late.”

“I won’t, I promise,” Iwaizumi nods, he’s not sure if he can believe that. He knows what Oikawa can be like, “I promise! Go rest.”

“Okay. Goodnight.”

“Night Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi slipped into his room and dropped onto the bed with a heavy sigh; he still hadn’t found the right words, or the courage, to tell Oikawa how he truly felt.

* * *

The rest of the week has gone by pretty quickly; most nights, if they were both free from volleyball practice, they sat together in the lounge, studying. It made Oikawa fondly remember all the times they would do this back in school and it had him swallowing all the things he wanted to divulge with Iwaizumi; instead, he complained about Ushijima and Tendou, and how cute all the girls at university were. Until he grated on Iwaizumi’s last nerves and he would take his things into his room, or yell at Oikawa to focus. It was silly, but Oikawa loved it, any moment with Iwaizumi felt precious, “Oikawa, are you listening?”

“Yes, yes!” Oikawa puffed out his cheeks, looking back down at his notes and repeating back what Iwaizumi had said while he wrote, “Maybe I should have picked something easier.”

“Dumbass, don’t go saying that now,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, he finished his notes and stretched, “You’re smart enough to do this without me. Am I much help?”

“Of course, you keep me focused,” Oikawa isn’t sure how he those words left his mouth, especially while Iwaizumi’s arms are looking so enticing, “You’re always yelling at me, it’s like having a real teacher.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Oikawa bursts out laughing at Iwaizumi’s dumbfounded expression, his eyebrows drawn further down than usual; though, even when Iwaizumi scowled like that, Oikawa found himself staring, his breathing becoming just a little harder, “Whatever. We should take a break. I’ll cook.” Iwaizumi’s up and heading to the kitchen before Oikawa can reply, “Would you eat fish?”

“When don‘t I?”

“If you complain about my cooking, I swear.”

“Iwa-chan! You’re the one who’s always mean, I’ve never said anything bad about your cooking. It’s almost been a whole week already,” Oikawa hops up to take a seat at the small dining table, “Wouldn’t I have complained by now?”

“Probably.”

“To be honest, it’s nice when you cook for me. It feels like we’re back at home,” Oikawa smiles fondly, remembering their evenings alone together, “This is like a permanent sleepover. My favourite part of coming over was when Iwa-chan cooked. You’d even help out your mom sometimes too,” Iwaizumi nods, he’s not sure why Oikawa’s bringing that up, he was there, “We’re a lot older now, you’ve improved. You’ll make a good wife someday, Iwa-chan!”

Just as he’s enjoying reminiscing, Oikawa has to say something stupid like that; he turns around and reaches over to hit him over the head, “Idiot! I’m not a woman.”

“Ouch,” Oikawa rubs his head, pouting, “Clearly not. You’re too brutish for _that_.” Iwaizumi considers hitting him again, but this time he sighs and turns back to focus on steaming their fish. He puts some rice and vegetables into the slow cooker together, so there’ll be enough food on their plates to fill them nicely for the night, “Do you want to watch a film Iwa-chan?”

“Sure,” His reply is gruff, but Oikawa happily turns the tv on, having had it off while they were studying; he flicks through, pausing on an action movie that he knows Iwaizumi will love. Oikawa waits patiently while Iwaizumi cooks, he serves them tea too, which Oikawa gratefully accepts; soon, the food is on the table too and Oikawa starts the movie, he steals a bit of fish that Iwaizumi had been about to grab, grinning across at him, “Dumbass. You’d never make a good husband.”

“At least girls talk to me.”

“Girls talk to me too, you know.”

“Oh,” Oikawa feels a little disappointed, he hopes it doesn’t show in his voice, “Are you telling me you’ve gone on a date before?”

“Once, in high school,” It’s news to Oikawa, and he’s left blinking in confusion, “Did you think that no-one ever asked? I had girls confessing too.”

Oikawa shrugs, something feels heavy in his chest and he’s not sure how to lift that feeling, “I guess I just never noticed,” If he had. Would it hurt less now? He can’t answer that, but his mouth is dry and he has to take a drink -- the tea is still fairly hot and it burns his tongue a little. The feeling in his chest dissolves into a dull throb, “But you don’t have a girlfriend now Iwa-chan. What happened?”

“I didn’t like her,” Iwaizumi’s answer is simple, something is itching in his throat though. It’s not his honest feelings about Oikawa, but something else, a little piece of honesty; a glance through his walls, “I don’t really like girls.”

Oikawa almost chokes on a piece of fish, he stares at Iwaizumi, a little surprised, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I don’t know,” He does, he noticed it years ago, in junior-high, when Oikawa had won his award. That precious smile had sent Iwaizumi’s heart skyrocketing, he’d questioned it, without letting on that it was Oikawa, and when he was told what that feeling was. It felt right, “I thought it might have been obvious.”

“I did always wonder why you never seemed to care for the girls in school. But I thought that was just the usual you, you can be quite cold sometimes.”

Iwaizumi meets Oikawa’s gaze, he knows he’s frowning a little, those words hurt, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that you thought of me that way.”

“I don’t mind! It’s never been a problem. We’re best friends, right Iwa-chan?”

“Sure.” They return to eating, Iwaizumi lost interest in the movie the moment Oikawa had begun talking, but now he focuses on that, just to avoid meeting Oikawa’s eyes again. It feels like his heart is sinking, he hadn’t realised that Oikawa saw him as cold. All the dumb things he’d said in the past, to get back at Iwaizumi for calling him a dumbass; they’d fought once when they were eight because Oikawa had said he hated him and Iwaizumi had been just as mean. But he’d thought that was just a childish argument, it didn’t mean anything; they’d apologised and went back to bug hunting together. Oikawa was right though, they’re a lot older now and Iwaizumi doesn’t like being told that… Not from Oikawa.

They finish up with their food and Oikawa picks up the dishes so he can wash up, Iwaizumi mutters a goodnight to him and returns to his room. He sits at his desk for what feels like an hour, it’s only been a minute, he’s playing with the corners of the page in his book. Oikawa’s words are still filling his brain. He doesn’t want to be cold, especially with Oikawa, because he feels the opposite. Everything that Oikawa does seems to fill Iwaizumi with a pleasant warmth, he can’t quite express it in words, but it’s nice. It feels like home.

Iwaizumi deserts his desk in favour of laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. It suddenly feels like there’s miles between them, Iwaizumi doesn’t like it, his chest hurts. He buries his face into his pillow, he can still hear the tv slightly and...He can hear Oikawa humming, it isn’t loud and Iwaizumi’s door is only open a crack, but it settles him. He wishes he could figure out how to express himself honestly to Oikawa. Nothing seems to come to mind and his eyes are getting heavy; Oikawa’s humming is soothing Iwaizumi to sleep, like a lullaby. It leaves him wanting, Oikawa’s the last thought before he completely drifts off.

* * *

The first month of university passes by, spring is slowly breaking into summer; Oikawa’s found a job, and Iwaizumi misses him, misses the humming that fills the apartment...The stupid tv shows he watches. Oikawa comes home late in the evening’s now, most of the time he’s already eaten with Ushijima and Tendou, Iwaizumi looks up to greet him, his soft smile stops the words on Iwaizumi’s tongue, “I’m home Iwa-chan!”

“I can see that,” Iwaizumi is rolling his eyes before he can stop himself, Oikawa’s words sting his brain and he sits up straight, “Welcome back.”

“Thank you!” Oikawa’s smile grows, he bounds across the room and joins Iwaizumi on the couch, “How’s studying going? I was in the library with ‘Tori-chan at lunch, you know, he’s pretty smart. I think it must help with his blocking,” Oikawa sighs, “Ushiwaka is annoying though. He never misses anything I set for him, and sometimes I make them pretty hard. I wish you were there instead.”

Iwaizumi hums, the words make his heart jump, “I’m glad to hear that you had an eventful day. Don’t slack with studying. I’m focusing too.”

“I can see that,” Oikawa rocks to the side, bumping their shoulders together, “And I just said I did some studying! I gave up some of my free time for that. Aren’t you proud?”

“Dumbass, you have to otherwise you’ll get kicked out.”

“Mean,” Oikawa’s pout _definitely_ makes Iwaizumi’s heart jump, “Sometimes it’s boring without you around though. My grades are good, just so you know.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know, you shoved some of them in my face,” Oikawa nods, grinning once again. Iwaizumi’s body feels too hot, his stomach feels like it’s fluttering, “Are you going to let me study?” Oikawa’s nodding again, already quiet; Iwaizumi takes a deep breath, he’s not used to this happening so easily. Oikawa’s watches him while he works, and Iwaizumi eventually has to escape to his room to finish up.

Oikawa’s left staring after Iwaizumi; after a minute, he settles back into the couch with a soft sigh, he’d been intending on saying something to Iwaizumi but he’d chickened out at the last second. He wished he could see how things would play out, it would make everything easier, or maybe if he could read Iwaizumi’s mind. Iwaizumi always seemed to be able to read his, except with this, Oikawa kept it close to his heart. Only Hanamaki and Matsukawa knew how he felt, and that was only because they’d caught Oikawa shamelessly eyeing up Iwaizumi. He sighed again, closing his eyes for a moment. Maybe he could dream about everything working out instead.

* * *

The seasons seem to fade into each other, summer greens fade to autumn browns and bright orange, then the trees leaves fall and snow follows. Winter break feels long. Iwaizumi and Oikawa share fried chicken; Oikawa is insistent on inviting their friends. Iwaizumi is a little unsure about Ushijima and Tendou, but the air is light and Iwaizumi likes seeing Oikawa happy. Hanamaki and Matsukawa seem to enjoy teasing the two, it’s obvious they’re together, Tendou isn’t shy about it and Ushijima doesn’t seem to mind. Iwaizumi’s feels a little jealous.

The day goes well, and they bid each other goodnight; after they’re gone, Oikawa flops onto the sofa and grins, “That was fun!”

“If you say so,” Iwaizumi’s mulling around the room, picking up the trash and cleaning up, “Tendou is messy.”

“I like ‘Tori-chan! He’s been helping me out quite a lot. He’s _always_ with Ushiwaka though,” Oikawa frowns, poking out his tongue in disgust, “They’re gross.”

Iwaizumi snorts in response, “So you wouldn’t want anything like that?”

“Hmm, maybe. Are you offering Iwa-chan?”

“Don’t be dumb.” He snaps back quickly, but his heart is pounding in his chest at the thought; Oikawa laughs, it’s full and Iwaizumi pauses for a moment. Then their eyes meet, Oikawa’s smile sticks, it’s the most open and honest one that Iwaizumi’s ever seen from him. He can feel his ears turning red, heating with a blush and he has to look away, barely focusing on the cleaning. The smile is stuck in his head, Oikawa’s eyes were crinkled at the edges, his nose slightly scrunched and it’s adorable, Iwaizumi finds it hard to focus--hard to breathe.

“I’m jealous. It must be nice for them since they’ve known each other for so long, and they were already friends.”

“If you’re trying to hint at something, I’m not interested.”

“Of course not, I’m just saying, it’s nice that it worked out for them.”

Iwaizumi hums in response, nodding; he still doesn’t turn to face Oikawa and keeps his focus on cleaning, hoping that his mind will clear and stay away from whatever subject that Oikawa was trying to discuss. Iwaizumi doesn’t think that Ushijima and Tendou’s relationship is any of their business anyway.

* * *

A few days have passed since the end of winter break. It's late when Oikawa returns from practice, later than he expected and his legs are burning beneath him; he quietly locks the door and tip-toes out of his shoes. His eyes slide over to Iwaizumi's room; the door is open and Oikawa finds himself approaching, sliding in as quietly as possible. Oikawa studies Iwaizumi's sleeping form for a moment, stepping closer to the bed, where he reaches out and touches the cover, pausing there. He bites his lip and steps back like he's been burned; Iwaizumi rolls over in bed, breathing deep out his nose, "What are you doing?"

His voice surprises Oikawa, and he feels guilt stinging him, "Sorry Iwa-chan, the door was open."

"If you're getting in, hurry up," Oikawa's heart jumps, Iwaizumi is the one to throw aside the covers. Oikawa sheds his jeans, not wanting to sleep in them and he tentatively joins Iwaizumi. They lay there, the silence of the room enveloping them; Oikawa slides off his glasses and places them on the bedside table, he suddenly realises that they haven't done this since they were kids and it feels like something is scratching in his throat, “Shut up.”

“I haven’t said anything!”

“I can practically hear you thinking. What’s wrong?”

Oikawa falls silent, sighing softly, “Nothing. I just realised it’s been a while since we shared a bed.”

“If it’s such a problem then get out and go to your own.”

“No, you’re warm. I think I’ll stay here, if that’s okay, Iwa-chan.”

“Whatever, just go to sleep.” Iwaizumi rolls over again; Oikawa’s grateful that he isn’t being pushed from the bed, he closes his eyes and lets himself doze off. Iwaizumi is still awake even as Oikawa’s breathing evens out, he realised how strange this is and Sugawara’s words come back as a rush to his brain, _it must be nice, to keep your boyfriend all to yourself_, the word boyfriend rings through his whole body. It makes Iwaizumi swallow; sleep’s evading him now, he can’t stop thinking about it, about what it would be like to call Oikawa his boyfriend, to never correct anyone that assumed that about their friendship...To kiss Oikawa, lay with him like this but hold him tightly in his arms and never let go. The thought is nice, but it leaves him wanting more. It’s been a full month since Sugawara had said that and nothing’s changed, they’re still friends, Iwaizumi hadn’t been able to confess to Oikawa. Sugawara had even left the subject well enough alone, but Iwaizumi couldn’t forget it, especially not now; Iwaizumi screws his eyes tightly, pleading sleep to reach him.

* * *

Oikawa wakes first, finding himself warm and content, he blinks through bleary eyes and is faced with Iwaizumi, who’s still sleeping. Iwaizumi looks beautiful, his features are calm and Oikawa’s breath catches in his throat at the sight, _"Tōru,”_ Iwaizumi’s voice comes softly and it makes Oikawa feel more breathless, he finds himself blushing and he tries to turn away, only to find himself trapped under Iwaizumi’s arm; the position makes his face feel hotter and he shifts uncomfortably. Iwaizumi stirs, he stretches out and Oikawa takes the moment to turn and hide his face, “Mornin’.”

“Good morning,” Oikawa mutters softly and Iwaizumi blinks away the last of his sleep, staring at Oikawa’s messy hair; Oikawa takes a deep breath and turns back to grin at Iwaizumi, he thinks it’s fine to face him now, “I didn’t realise you could be cute Iwa-chan! You were cuddling me this morning.”

“Bullshit,” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, but Oikawa thinks he sees the faintest blush dusting his cheeks, “Get out, you stink.”

He pushes Oikawa from the bed, who stumbles to his feet, “Mean!”

“Whatever, just go get a shower.”

“Fine.” Oikawa stomps from the room and once Iwaizumi is sure he’s a safe distance away, he presses his face into the pillow; it smells like Oikawa though and it only makes him sit up, a hand rising to touch his face, which feels far too hot. Oikawa smelled nice, pineapple and some kind of flower, Iwaizumi isn’t sure, but it was good. It left his heart racing for some reason. He hears the spray of water and sighs with relief. He pushes himself from the bed and begins putting his things together for the day; once he’s certain Oikawa is finished, he goes to take a shower too.

Oikawa’s back in his room, drying his hair when he hears the shower turn on, his heart hasn’t calmed down at all; he’s still thinking about the way that Iwaizumi had been holding him. He wishes there was something more real about it. They were friends, he shrugs off the feeling and finishes packing his gym bag for the day; he has practice tonight and it makes him happy. Tendou had become the person who he unloaded all of his worries onto, this was just something else to add to that growing list. Maybe he has some advice, some way for Oikawa to figure out how to solve things. Oikawa heads out the door as soon as he’s ready, shouting a goodbye over his shoulder; Iwaizumi responds from his bedroom and Oikawa smiles.

Thankfully, his day goes by pretty quickly and he finds himself in the gym fairly early; Ushijima shows up not long after, tailed closely by Tendou, who notices Oikawa’s (probably) look of despair and heads over to join him on the bench, “Tōru-kun, is something wrong?”

“Iwa-chan...We fell asleep together--Don’t give me that look! It was just innocent,” Tendou’s nodding, not looking very convinced so Oikawa sighs and continues, “I woke up to him _hugging me_. It was nice, he was so warm! I’m doomed.”

“Tōru-kun,” Tendou gently pats Oikawa’s arm reassuringly, “You have to tell him, I know it’s scary, but you can’t keep it closed up. I was scared too, look at my boyfriend,” He points to Ushijima and Oikawa nods, “He looks scary, but he isn’t. You know Iwaizumi very well, I’m sure you know that he isn’t really scary either.”

“I know, but what if it goes wrong?”

“Sometimes, you need to take that risk.” The rest of the team begins to show up and Tendou drags Oikawa up with a grin; Oikawa manages to smile back. They join the rest of the team and now the coach is arriving too, he sets up their positions for a three versus three practice match. Oikawa is excited to be across from Tendou again, Ushijima’s on his side and he wonders if they will end up winning. He’s never seen Ushijima and Tendou go against each other before. The managers are off to the back of the room, setting up a scoreboard; they toss a coin, Oikawa’s side is starting, and once everything is settled, the coach blows his whistle.

Oikawa starts with a pounding serve, setting the pace for something that feels naturally good; he serves again and this time it’s received, they go back and forth, Oikawa’s glad to see that Ushijima’s spike slides past Tendou’s defense. It’s going well, and by the time a full rotation hits, the scoreline is even. Oikawa breathes deeply, setting up for his serve again, he spins the ball and it feels good; he steps back twice and throws the ball into the air. He’s making his usual run up and as he prepares to jump, something sharp rushes through his knee and he falls to the floor with a groan of pain.

“Oikawa?!” He thinks the coach is shouting his name, the pain is making him dizzy, “Go get a nurse now!” Someone picks him up and he feels sick, “You shouldn’t move him.”

“It’s his knee,” Is that Ushijima? “Satori, call Iwaizumi.” A few minutes pass, fresh air hits his face, everything is swirling around him; he shivers before being hit with warmer air again.

“Over here!”

“Come quick,” Oikawa doesn’t recognise the voice, but she sounds kind; there’s a rush of feet and a door sliding open, he feels something comfortable under him and he sighs, “Oikawa, can you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“Try not to move,” Her hands touch his knee and he jolts, someone’s large hand is on his shoulder and he closes his eyes, tight, trying to ignore everything going on around him. He thinks hours pass before the nurse is gently patting his arm, she hands him a glass of water and he drinks it all, “Someone is here to see you,” Oikawa perks up a little in the bed, the door opens and Iwaizumi is stood there, looking like he’s been crying, “I’ll give you both a moment.” She leaves them in the room, closing the door behind her. Oikawa finally takes in his surroundings, avoiding Iwaizumi’s eyes; the room is small, and the bed is uncomfortable. He looks down, biting his lip.

Oikawa's knee is buried in ice-packs, Iwaizumi's frowning now, unimpressed; it makes Oikawa smile, small and soft because he can imagine what's running through Iwaizumi's head. _Dumbass, you always push too hard!_ It sounds harsh to most people, but for Oikawa, it's concern and he remembers falling from a tree, Iwaizumi carrying him home on his back, almost crying. This is his best friend, who acts tough and looks unapproachable. And, **God**, he's so in love, it hurts sometimes. Oikawa's knee throbs, he shifts an ice-pack, feeling too closed in and he finally meets Iwaizumi's eyes, "I have to quit...Don't I?"

"Yes, don't be an idiot," Oikawa looks down again, at his knee, at the ice-packs that are beginning to melt, he feels tears prickling in his eyes. His throat feels tight. He **can't** quit volleyball, it's everything to him. He sniffs and Iwaizumi's hand gently touches his shoulder, it feels warm, but the cold weight of giving up volleyball feels like he's suffocating. Oikawa looks up again, barely meeting Iwaizumi's eyes as a tear rolls down his cheek, "Dumbass..." Iwaizumi's thumbs against his cheeks aren't soft, but the action is and, to Oikawa, it feels comforting and encouraging, wiping away his tears, "You know it's not the end of the world."

Oikawa wishes those words were true, but without volleyball, he's nothing; it was the one thing he excelled at, all the stupid things he'd gotten into, volleyball stuck. It was like it was always meant to be. Now, it wouldn't be and Oikawa doesn't think that the end of the world would make him feel this low...This useless. He sniffles and sobs, Iwaizumi holds him, brushing away tears; Oikawa isn't sure if those hands are a blessing or a hindrance. Because they've always been there for him, holding him through every fucked up thing he's done and Oikawa isn't sure anyone else could have gotten him through it, not like Iwaizumi had. _There's only Hajime now_, he thinks, with volleyball gone, "We were going to play against each other, Iwa-chan, we promised."

Iwaizumi almost freezes, considering Oikawa's state, those words are crystal clear--**cutting**, for a moment, he can't find the words. The silence is almost deafening. Iwaizumi holds Oikawa's face, so they can look at each other properly, "Tōru," Oikawa isn't sure what Iwaizumi will say, his face doesn't give much away. And it hasn't really since they were young...When they were naïve and hopeful, "I know you. You **will** be fine. Maybe you could come back, take a rest, see how the healing process goes."

Oikawa find himself smiling; he can't be certain if Iwaizumi is right, but the positivity and confidence made him believe he could overcome this. Whichever way it ended up going, "Ushiwaka will love this."

"Well, you always complained about being on the same team as him." Oikawa laughs, his eyes closing with the action and the last of his tears rolling down his cheeks; he holds tightly onto Iwaizumi's hands...They're warm and comforting, everything he needs at this moment. The door opens, signaling the return of the nurse and Oikawa finds himself blushing, moving to pull his hands away from Iwaizumi's grip. But they don't budge, Iwaizumi is holding onto him.

She looks them over, a smile tugging at her lips, "Don't worry boys. Iwaizumi was it?" Her head turns and Iwaizumi nods, Oikawa notices some defiance in his face, "You can stay as long as you’d like. I'm sure Oikawa will appreciate having his boyfriend around," Oikawa's eyes go wide, looking between the nurse and Iwaizumi; the assumption is wrong, it's his first thought and he expects Iwaizumi to correct her. He doesn't speak, only nodding again and Oikawa feels something clenching in his chest--his throat, "Good!" She approaches the bed, unpacking the ice to take a look at Oikawa's knee; the swelling has gone down, she confirms as much, but it still looks raw, she places a brace over his knee and wraps a bandage, "I'll be back in a second."

She leaves the room and Oikawa manages to slip one hand free, running it over the bandage, "Don't fuss."

"I'm not!" Oikawa turns to meet Iwaizumi's face and he sighs, "Iwa-chan, why didn't you correct her?"

Iwaizumi's jaw goes stiff, Oikawa thinks he sees him swallow before he speaks, "Why do I need to?"

"Because we're friends?" It sounds like a question, Oikawa didn't mean it to, but now it feels like he needs clarification. Because Iwaizumi is acting strange, it worries Oikawa, he's hopeful and he doesn't want to look too much into it, "Iwa-chan?"

"I didn't mind her saying that about us," Iwaizumi squeezes the hand he's still holding and Oikawa holds his breath for a moment, "Oikawa, does it bother you?"

"No!" He answers quickly and becomes flustered, feeling his cheeks go warm.

"Tōru," Iwaizumi squeezes his hand again and Oikawa finds the strength to return it; it's the second time tonight that Iwaizumi has used Oikawa's given name. Oikawa thinks he can hear the pounding of his heart echoing in the room, quiet except the faint tick of the clock, "I really like you."

"Hajime-chan, I like you too! I want what she said to be true."

"If we like each other, then it is." Iwaizumi's answer is definite and Oikawa grins for the first time since finding himself in the room; the nurse returns, a crutch tucked under her arm, she passes it over and Iwaizumi is the one who takes it. She repeats a mantra for Oikawa's knee care, Iwaizumi looks like he's drinking in the information and Oikawa almost giggles at how serious he looks. She wishes them luck and bids them a goodnight, which they happily return; then Iwaizumi helps Oikawa of the bed slinging one arm over his shoulders, "Come on, let's head back."

Oikawa nods, he slides the crutch under his other arm and lets Iwaizumi support him on his other side; the walk to the station is slow, being so awkward and uncoordinated, but they make it in one piece. They slump together, side-by-side; the journey back is short, quiet, with Iwaizumi tracing shapes over Oikawa's thigh. Again, the journey to the apartment takes some time, with Iwaizumi seemingly refusing to let go of Oikawa; once they're safely inside, Oikawa drops onto the sofa dramatically and Iwaizumi laughs, "Don't laugh! I'm injured!"

"I know," Iwaizumi smiles and Oikawa can't help but chuckle a little; the mood feels lighter now and Iwaizumi sits next to him, taking his hand again. Oikawa's not sure if he'll get used to life without volleyball if he does need to quit, but he thinks being with Iwaizumi will make it hurt just a little less; so he squeezes Iwaizumi's hand and rests his head against his shoulder, "I'm sorry."

Oikawa hums, a little confused, "What for? This is my fault, I shouldn't have pushed myself."

"Still. You didn't deserve to have this happen and I'm sorry."

"Iwa-chan, you're so nice," Oikawa moves slightly, their proximity makes him blush and he's sure Iwaizumi is too. He intends to move back, give them space again, but Iwaizumi's hand shoots up, cradling his head and then their lips are touching. Oikawa holds onto Iwaizumi's shirt, pressing into the sensation; it's a little clumsy, Oikawa can feel that Iwaizumi is nervous. But he likes it, it's probably the best kiss he's had because he knows how Iwaizumi feels and it makes everything feel about a thousand times better. When they part to breathe, Oikawa's already grinning and Iwaizumi's smile follows, "Thank you. You've always been here Hajime, thank you so much."

"Don't be stupid," Iwaizumi says, but his cheeks are red and he's smiling, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." They’ll be fine, Oikawa will make it through this like he has before, and if not...If he has to quit, Iwaizumi will catch him. He will be there to help him. Iwaizumi will be anything and everything that Oikawa needs, and they _will_ be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> my random place-holder title for this was _Iwaoi, but painful_.  
ahahaha, oops.


End file.
